I just had a flashback to when this jesus freak in my middle school alienated me from an entire class.
She comes in to do a presentation about how Slipknot is “the devil’s music” and blah blah and the teacher makes us rate the songs that were played by a 1 - 10 scale, with 1 being “it’s horrible” and 10 being “it’s beautiful.”
Now, I have loved music forever, and I knew well enough at the age of 13/14 that art is an expression and it is not always meant to be taken literally. However, when a narrow minded, self proclaimed “holier than thou” person sees lyrics like this, you can only be literal. There is no other meaning.
Anyway, so they played the songs, and we had to rate them on that scale, and after every song, I was the only person who rated the songs a 10. I was then told to stand up and explain my reasons as to why I said that (by my teacher with a VERY HORRIFIED look on her face), and even after I explained in detail why I thought what I thought, it didn’t change anyone’s minds…not even the music teacher, which was really strange to me.
I didn’t really have friends in that class after that….which was fine with me. I wanted to go to music class, study music, and leave. It’s sad that people can call music “evil” though….I would take any mysterious, strangely worded song over some of this rap music that is out today.
That’s not to say that I hate it or anything. I am not completely entertained by it, but everyone has their opinions, and I am totally cool with that.
And as per usual, I’m not sure if this even makes sense, but whatever.
I am absolutely miserable. I hate this apartment. I hate being here. I hate how my life is right now and i want everything else to happen faster. I have been asleep for over 12 hours and i just want to go back to sleep so i dont have to deal with reality anymore.
I was reading through this blog again and I came across a post where I bitched about giving this couple my address here in Sweden for their wedding invites after they begged me forever for it and then they changed their mind and sent me it via internet instead.
Well, I feel like a fucking twat now because yesterday, I got their wedding invite in the mail. I don’t know why they sent it via internet first and then to my address, but I was so happy that they actually sent it to me, even though they sent it to me way too late and I can’t even think of attending.
After the day I had yesterday, it really made me smile :3
I just had a flashback to when I was a kid and my mom had told me that if someone was pregnant with a boy, they had a basketball belly, and if they were pregnant with a girl, they had a huge ass.
A week after she told me that, I saw my pregnant (now ex) stepmother, and I went “WOW HEATHER! YOUR BUTT IS HUGE!” and that woman was just so shocked that all she did was laugh and walk out of the room. My dad came in after to yell at me, but when I explained what my mom had said and that all I was trying to say was that she was definitely having a girl (which she did, by the way), he just laughed it off.
And now I am laughing uncontrollably because I told that heifer that she had a fat ass and to this day, I didn’t lie XD
Honest to god, I want Stian to go back to work NOW.
He has pissed me off 3 times today, and I’ve only been awake 2 hours.
This past week has just been hell.
Between finding out that I have been lied to for over 3 years, to being pushed into doing a job that I cannot possibly do even if I tried my hardest….I just am an emotional mess.
It’s been very hard trying to get me off the couch. I just want to lay here and rot away for awhile.
And once again, my father lets me down.
*sigh*
That whole “the only man a girl can trust is her daddy” quote is COMPLETE BULLSHIT.
I got praised in my job coaching group today and I have been glowing from ear to ear since.
Now, since I live in Sweden, I clearly have to speak Swedish and do work in Swedish, etc., which means that my class is full of people who were born and raised here and speak and read Swedish as their main language.
Now, I have only been here a year and a half, and the more praise I get, the better I feel I am progressing, and with the praise lately, I feel like my Swedish is getting to be top notch within a short time.
Anyway, we had an assignment today, which was to list all of the food we usually eat in a week in massive detail. Now, maybe it’s just because I have been reading everything as to not miss a single detail of the lectures so I don’t get in trouble, but I saw where it said to chart the food data, use massive details, and include times you eat, etc., but clearly no one else saw what I read.
12 people read their lists before me, and they were all so short. So when it came to my turn, I said “I think I have done this wrong.” and I held up my paper. Oh my goodness, if that teacher’s eyes got any bigger, they would have fell out of his head. He was apparently BEYOND stunned as to how much work I had done, and was glad that I was the ONLY ONE who did the work as written in the directions. So out of 13 people between the ages of 19 and 60, I was the only person who did the work right.
I’m still glowing :3
I really thought that Skyping with my family today would make me feel better. I really did.
If anything, I think I just made things worse by doing that. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel better about anything right now.
Today has been an extremely rough day for me.
I broke down in tears earlier today (meltdown mode) in front of a total stranger (who had to calm me down, that poor woman) and the waterworks have not stopped since.
I know breakdowns like this of mine have happened before, but today it hit me that it is my second summer away from home and I am absolutely miserable with that fact. I miss my family more than anyone can ever imagine and I hate the fact that I don’t actually know when I will be coming home.
The only thing I wish is that I had at least one friend here in Sweden. I don’t have anyone to talk to about these things, and I hate that. I am so alone and :/
I will never understand how people think they’ll be able to keep their second kid, after they lost custody of their first.
A girl I know just announced she’s pregnant, but she went to jail and rehab, lost custody of the kid, and still doesn’t have custody however much time later, yet she’s having another one.
Like, if you don’t have your first kid, you’re clearly doing something wrong.
Logic? Where is it?
My future brother in law and his girlfriend haven’t really been hanging out the past week. I am PRAYING this is the official end of their relationship.
It sounds so wrong of me, but you don’t even understand the half of it. My future brother in law cheated on his ex with this tramp. Not only that, but she gave him an STD, because in the beginning of their relationship, she cheated on him!
She’s dirty and disgusting and I have ZERO respect for her and she has none for me, which I could give a shit less about. I just want her out of this family. NOW.
If I dream about weed one more night, and I wake up without it again, I’m going to lose my shit.
