&%!#&%#!

Everytime the main door to my apartment opens downstairs, I have a small panic attack.

I do not want trick or treaters. I do not have candy. Stian pointed out we have Gingerbread Dumle. I pointed out those Dumle are MINE.

Can’t I just lay on the couch, eat gingerbread cookies and enjoy “Allå Allå” in peace?!

I’m also REALLY sick of my future mother in law. All she does is get on my fucking nerves lately. The more I see her or hear from her, the more pissed I get.

First off, this woman thinks she needs to know EVERYTHING in EVERYONE’S lives. She violated my boyfriend’s trust by making his doctor tell her everything in his file, which there should be a lawsuit. She followed by then telling me that she did this, AND telling me I had to keep it a secret from my boyfriend. Now, I did hold it back for a couple of weeks, but that’s because I was afraid I would cause a rift between him and his mom, but I could not let that eat me alive for any more and I told him, and at this point I don’t care.

Next, I had a really bad few days, and I needed to get out of the house. So Stian told me he would tell his mom to come and get me so I could play with the cats and think about other things, and he made sure to tell her NOT to ask me ANYTHING about it, because I didn’t want to talk about it. Now, if this was my mother, she would have asked once, and when I would follow with “nothing, forget it,” she would have left it alone. But NOOOOO. She called me, after Stian said “DO NOT ASK HER ANYTHING” and asked me over and over and over until I hung up on her. This woman, in my opinion, seems to feel she is OWED this knowledge. I owe her NOTHING.

Now I’m being told that I am an “ugly person” because I say girls use Halloween as an excuse to dress like whores. FUCK YOU BITCH WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU. I am so tired of her putting her 2 cents in anywhere she can. I love Sweden. I love being near Stian’s brothers because they are great to be around. They have their issues like any human, but I still care a great deal about them. But I want to move FAR away from this woman. Stian’s longing to move back to Norway is looking better and better as the days pass.

I am definitely the only person in the world who HATES Halloween. Most people I know are still dressing up for this stupid “holiday” in their 20s.

I stopped trick or treating when I was 13. I have no effort to go to someones door, and beg them to give me something. I hated walking up and down Center Street. Longest fucking walk of my life. 

Costumes are way too expensive anyway. It’s cheaper to recreate those costumes, but people are lazy and would rather waste their money.

It kind of makes me happy that I live in Europe. It’s not really recognized here. There are very few costumes for kids, and all the teenagers use it as an excuse to dress like street walkers (not so unlike the Americans) which I find repulsive.

I really hope no kids knock on my door tomorrow. I refuse to buy candy. I’m so over this whole day. I’m like the Halloween Grinch.

Can this godforsaken day just pass already?

First of all, let me get things straight. I hate you all. It would honestly thrill me to see every single one of your guts spill. I could care less otherwise as to what you have done since we broke up, what you’re doing now, or what you’ll do in the future. 

But I have to also thank every single one of you. It disgusts me, but I have to do it. 

So thank you for cheating on me everyday, leeching off me, treating me worse than dirt, putting me last, verbally abusing me, physically abusing me, and making me feel completely useless and unwanted.

I am now stronger because of the bullshit you all put me through. If it weren’t for some of your horrendous behavior, I wouldn’t be where I am today. If some of you were good to me, and actually gave a shit about me, I might still be in that deathtrap called Long Island, and I would still be miserable.

But I’m not. I live in a beautiful European country. I have an incredible man who treats me like a queen, even though I know I don’t deserve it sometimes. I have friends now that want to be seen in town with me, not those Long Island douchefuckers who only wanted to hang around with me when no one else was free. I have also gained another family, which is more than I ever could have expected I would have.

I love that all those obstacles you had me climb blessed me with the beautiful life I live now. I really cannot do anything but thank you for that.

Otherwise, roll over and die, cunts.